Should I Keep a Dating Roster?
July 20, 2026
As a matchmaker, I know many dating coaches encourage women to keep a dating roster. Personally, I advise both men and women who tend to fall fast to date more than one person early on. It can help prevent becoming emotionally invested too quickly and reduce attachment to someone who hasn't committed…especially if you have a strong anxious attachment style. It also encourages you to meet different people before making a serious life decision. For many, it's simply a way to date intentionally while exploring their options.
That said, I am very biased against multi-dating and strongly prefer solo dating. In my opinion, there are far more potential downsides than benefits. When you're juggling multiple people, it becomes difficult to give any one connection the time, attention, and emotional presence it needs to grow. Conversations can begin to feel transactional rather than genuine, and promising relationships may never have the opportunity to deepen. You're also more likely to move on at the first sign of conflict rather than learning who someone truly is by working through normal challenges and disagreements together.
Ladies...
In my experience working with highly accomplished men, most don't necessarily object to a woman dating multiple people in the early stages. They understand that exclusivity usually comes later. What many of them do find unattractive is when having a "roster" becomes part of a woman's identity or personality. They often interpret it as a sign that she's more focused on collecting attention than building a meaningful relationship. I won't even get into the intimacy component, which many high-quality men consider just as important.
Most high-quality men we work with are looking for intentionality. They are dating with marriage and long-term partnership in mind, and many prefer solo dating as well. I've always said that a man juggling three or more women at the same time usually has too much free time on his hands and that tells you something about his lifestyle. Successful businessmen, entrepreneurs, and trailblazers typically don't have the time or desire to entertain multiple women. They're busy building businesses, pursuing purpose, and creating a legacy.
In return, these men want to feel that once mutual interest develops, the relationship has the space to progress naturally without constant competition for attention. They know what they want, and they value women who know what they're looking for, communicate honestly, and are willing to narrow their focus when a genuinely promising connection emerges.
Gentlemen...
Early in the dating process, I don't think it's inherently wrong for a man to date more than one woman, provided he's honest and respectful. The same goes for women. Dating more than one person early on can prevent premature attachment, provide healthy perspective, and encourage better decision-making. However, once one person consistently stands out and both people are investing in the relationship, it's time to narrow your focus and give that relationship the attention it deserves.
The objective is to recognize the right woman when she comes along and give that relationship every opportunity to succeed.
The goal isn't to have the biggest roster.
The goal is to find the right lady.
Don't let endless options (or the illusion of) prevent you from recognizing an exceptional partner when he or she appears.
Joseph Dixon
If you're a highly eligible single looking for exceptional connections beyond the dating apps, visit Bachelorsinc.com. Your perfect match may already be waiting.